There are many defining moments I have had at BSC so far that have shaped me in some sort of significant way, but none were as transformative as this past year. I’ll just be honest- I have found my junior year of college to be rough (pandemic both included and excluded). So why was this past year so hard you may ask?
This past fall I returned to campus as an Orientation Leader and I feel in love with BSC all over again. Through that incredible experience, I met and bonded with so many new people some of whom are now my closest friends. For the first time in a while, I was passionate about a leadership role and it made me feel guilty for not putting the same energy into my own leadership position inside of Kappa Delta. When the time to reapply for council came around I did, but I didn’t get slated into a position. It was hard for me to hear and it felt personal but I thought this might open me up for more time outside of KD in the form of an on-campus leadership position and I applied for that. But I was rejected again and this time the rejection stung even more than I could have imagined. I started to wallow in self-doubt and was worried that no one inside of KD or outside of it saw me as a leader. Yet through it all, my best friends and sisters supported me and let me know that this wasn’t a reflection of who I was or what I had to offer others, that it was simply a timing issue and that something great was sure to come around.
There were a lot of days where I wasn’t sure what that was going to be, but over the course of January, my life started to change for the better. Now I had more time to focus on my internship at the Birmingham Museum of Art and my relationships there as well as spend time bonding in the KD house. My best friend and biggest supporter Katie shared and an Instagram post that one of our favorite Birmingham restaurants was hiring and I applied on a whim. I was nervous to interview because I had never worked in the service industry but I knew that the skills I learned on council could carry me a long way and I got the job! Now I was balancing school, my friendships, my job, and my internship and I was happier than I had been in a long time. Then I was appointed Website chair and Alumni Relations chair as well as Party Head of night one of recruitment. I was so happy to be contributing back to my chapter in positions that I felt passionate about and soon all the guilt and worry I had about being a leader faded away.
I think the moral of my story is that leadership isn’t necessarily always confined to a “leadership position” and that sometimes it looks a little different from what you might have imagined. I didn’t get the traditional leadership positions I applied for and instead I got so much more. I got the time to instill confidence in the next generation of Kappa Deltas and to help them find their passions inside and outside of the chapter. I was allowed the opportunity to continue forming those relationships at the Birmingham Museum of Art and make genuine connections that lead to me joining daily coffee chats and the whole department throwing me a birthday party for my 21st! It gave me the opportunity to work in the service industry and apply the skills I learned through my council positions to navigating a new landscape and new job. But most importantly it taught me not to place my value in what others thought of me or in traditional leadership roles. As long as you’re doing what you love and are passionate about and working to share those talents and skills with others you’re a leader in my book. Sometimes being a leader just means being kind and lending a shoulder to cry on or providing a space to vent. My best friends and sisters knew I was a leader all along and they were just waiting for me to see it in myself and I’m so grateful to them for never giving up on me and inspiring me with their own ambition along the way. More than anything I’m glad to have a group of women who forced me to grow at my own pace and who brought out new leadership and confidence within me.
AOT,
McLean
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